Home Degenerates To A House Or A House Graduates To A Home


Almost all of us live in houses, blessed ones live in homes. When we marry, start a relationship, we are full of warmth towards each-other, displaying our best traits, hiding the unpleasant, there is unconditional love all around, a scenario, too good, too artificial to last.

As time passes, our spontaneous behaviour takes over, we show concern, suggest and then interfere, we start criticizing, passing comments, encroach the privacy of each-other. Excessive familiarity breeds contempt, aware of others’ imperfections, we may question our wisdom to get into the relationship. Unconditional love transforms to arguments, discussions, disagreements, violent discussions, insisting on my solution is the best, inability to tolerate others’ view-point, unbalanced views, not accepting that there can be more than one solution, all equally good. Egos clash, the home turns to a house, not that much warm, not as inviting as earlier days, polite, civilised behaviour just for society, indifferent, casual within the house, not selfless any-more? Greedy of spouse’s money/assets? Not faithful enough? Or just intolerant? Trust within is shaky, sharing of life in the house dilutes, having food at different times, sleeping in different bed-rooms, watching different TV channels, communication is just cosmetic, restricted in quantity and quality, more visits to respective pubs, or kitty parties. The home has degenerated to a house. There will be corrective measures, may succeed, or may not. The self-righteous spouse, refuses the need for introspection, and insists on others to change. The house remains a house for ever.

House, a physical entity, available in market. Home, its soul, an intangible asset, of a relationship, a family. A house, must graduate to a home, where, there is, selflessness, warmth among its residents, a will to sacrifice for one another, children, siblings, elders and parents, a unison approach on major issues, a spirit of tolerance and respect, where there are differences on minor issues. A vast majority, normal people follow it, live happily.

Elders are addicted, concerned, about their children, siblings, who may resent the un-solicited guidance, as interference, an encroachment on their democratic rights, and seek happiness in pubs. The elders are cautious too, on guard, to safe-guard their interest, for old age. ‘The extended families of children, siblings, break away as autonomous entities, and dilute their ties with roots, forego responsibilities, remember their rights. The aged, infirm seniors, helpless, mute spectators, with treasured sweet memories, learn to live self-reliant, passively, emotionally, financially and socially; as appendix to off-springs’ families, or in old age homes, learning to lead their lives, all over again, maybe they realise a bit late: the futility of attachment to worldly relations, and the only permanency in our lives, God’s goodwill for all of us.

Every nation has millions houses, very few homes. If only, there are more homes, the society will prosper, the countries will be in harmony, and there will be happiness, all around for humanity.

Source by Charanjit Singh Arora